Month: July 2011

A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink.

The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve your kind here.”

The mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fungi!” — ted danson

[Ed: Fixed that for ya.]

Some bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t allow bacteria in here!” The bacteria reply, “Yes you do — we’re staph!” — Lorie Johnson

A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave because they can see the potential danger in the situation. — Robin Green

(Via @anildash via TNW.)

A neutron walks into a bar, and says, “Bartender, a round for everyone on me. How much is that?” The bartender says, “No charge.” — Ian Monroe

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel tucked in his pants.
The bartender says, “hey buddy, you’ve got a steering wheel in your pants!”

“Arrr,” says the pirate. “It’s driving me nuts!”

— Tim Holt

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, “Hey, why the long face?” — Steve Warren

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says ‘hey, we have a drink named after you!’

The grasshopper looks back at him with a puzzled expression and replies ‘You have a drink named Steve?’

— Brian J

Two men walk into a bar, the third ducks under it. — Jason Lewis