A blonde walks into a bar. She is taken to the hospital quickly by ambulance, because head injuries are very serious. — John Ohno
(26) Sunday, August 14, 2011 Brew Day – BVBHA1.4
Today’s beer is different in a couple of ways. First I am using a different hop schedule. This one is based on a presentation from Daniel Morey in December 2000 called “Hop Schedule Guidelines: Award Winning Homebrew and Classic Beer Style Recipes.” The second thing is a different yeast. This one is Wyeast 1768-PC English Special Bitter Yeast. It is a seasonal yeast that is currently available and is similar to 1968 London ESB Ale but slightly less flocculent. The third thing is… I cannot remember the third thing, but I am sure there was one. I’ll think of it.
I remembered the third thing. I am going to go with a different chilling regimen. Last time, I believe that I had a noticeable amount of Dimethyl sulfide (DMS). I believe that this was from my 20-minute hot steep to extract hop aromatics. This time I am going to start my whirlpool cooling right at flame out which is why I wanted to use a different hop schedule in the first place.
Oh, and there’s a fourth thing. I am not going to do any dry hopping in the fermenter. The two ounces of dry hops are all getting added in the keg!
Last night I weighed out and crushed my grain and weighed out my hops. The rest of the hops went in the freezer. I set up the brewery and measured out my mash and sparge water.
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Two Blondes Walk Into a Bar
Two blondes walk into a bar. You’d think the second one would have noticed. — John Ohno
A Rabbi Walks Into a Bar
A Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder.
The bartender says, “Hey, that’s pretty cool. Where’d you get that?”
“Brooklyn,” says the frog, “they’re all over the place there!”
An observation about Hop Utilization Prediction
Any hop utilization formula has to satisfy two criteria.
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It has to evaluate to zero for zero time because hops you do not add will make no contribution to bitterness.
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It cannot evaluate to more than 100% for infinite time because you cannot extract more than all that the hops have to offer.
Tinseth appears to suggest that utilization peaks out at around 24% after about 2 hours.
A Byte Walks Into a Bar
A byte walks into a bar looking dejected. Bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The byte replies, “I think I have a parity error.” The bartender says, “Yeah, you did look a bit off…” — Mike Marantis
Rene Descartes Walks Into a Bar
Rene Descartes walks into a bar. A sleazy woman walks up to him and says, “Hey handsome, buy me a drink?” He sneers at her and says, “Madam, I think not” and disappears. — Genevieve Perdue
A Man Walks Into a Bar
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Another man walks up to him and says to the first, “Hey. The special of the day lets you defy gravity! Watch!” He walks over to the window, steps out, does a couple of spins in the air and comes back in.The first man says to the bartender, “I’ll have the special of the day!” The bartender gives him the drink and the man drinks it. He then walks over to the window, steps out and plummets to his death.The bartender says, “Superman. You can be a real jerk when you are drunk!”
A Duck Walks Into a Bar
A duck walks into a bar. He waddles up to the bartender and asks “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender says, “No” and the duck leaves.
The duck comes back the next day and asks the bartender “Do you have you have any grapes?” The bartender looks really annoyed and says, “No, damn it! This is a bar, not a grocery. Take a hike!” The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes back yet again and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender says, “For the last time, No! If come back and ask that again, I’ll nail your beak to the bar.” The duck leaves.
The duck comes back the next day and asks, “Do you have a hammer?” The bartender looks confused and says, “No.” Then, the duck says, “Oh, good. Do you have any grapes?”
A Man Walks Into a Bar
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under one arm. “I’ll have two pints,” he says, “one for me, and one for the road.” — Andrew Bulhak