Nerdy Love Song with Added Kitten Bonus! by TheRealDeAnne:
I made this video for my friend Shane Adamczak’s show Up Late Live, an episode of which you can see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3c0fwOCjwY
Clark, the kitten I was fostering, stole the show.
www.deannesmith.com
Want me to come to your town/school/bed/wedding? Email: comideanne@gmail.com
Oh and people seem to want lyrics, so here ya go. If you make videos of the song or anything, credit me? Link me? I wanna see ’em!
NERDY LOVE SONG
C Am F G
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
and I won’t say that I love you or I heart you,
but I will say less than 3, I less than 3 you
Your molecules must be moving really quickly
’cause girl, you’re hot.
Are you igneous, metamorphic or sedimentary?
All I know is, baby, you rock.
if god existed, I’d thank him for you
but I’m rational and i read (a lot of) Sam Harris
you’re beautiful like the font of Garamond
but I wanna see you sans serif.
(take your pants off)
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
I observe your quarks oscillating,
and I’m formulating a g-string theory
I’m an archaeologist and I’m gonna compute your age,
yeah, I’m wanna absolutely date you
you make me feel like a male giraffe
I wanna nudge your rump, make you urinate, and mate you (that’s what they do)
the value of my love for you
cannot be expressed exactly
it’s more irrational than pi
hey “Fuck” is a legitimate word in Scrabble, just FYI
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
you can suck me into the supermassive black hole
at the center of your galaxy (I’m talking vagina)
I may not be the biggest or strongest
but my knowledge of grammar shines
I know how to use the words further and farther correctly
every freaking time
farther indicates physical distance
and further a depth or degree
example: the moon is getting farther from the earth
about 4 centimeters annually (true fact)
example: you just keep getting further into my heart
wait: you just keep getting farther into my heart
no, wait: you just keep getting further into my heart
hang on: you just keep getting farther into my heart
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
if the situation is ambiguous
further and farther can be used interchangably (that’s a rule! I knew that all along)
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
and I won’t say that I love you or I heart you
but I will say, I less than 3 you
(please take off your pants)